Book Review Disclaimer: These are my thoughts and opinions on books that I read related to addiction and mental health. They are in no way formal book reviews, that’s just the best way for me to describe them. Thank you for reading! If you have any book suggestions, I am always looking for inspiration.
“Sometimes it takes getting pushed to the very edge before you can find your voice and courage to speak out again. Sometimes it takes hitting that rock bottom to realize you’re done descending, and it’s time to rise. Sometimes it takes being told you’re nothing — being made to feel like you’re nothing — to help you see that you are complete.” – Mandy Hale
I came across this book on goodreads.com and the title itself was enough to draw me in. I have never really felt like I was ‘enough’ at anything.. Whether it was grades in school, relationships, friendships, sports, etc. So I figured it wouldn’t hurt me to pick this one up off the shelf.
This book was a bit of a change of pace for me because everything I’ve been reading lately has been about addiction with some mental illness thrown in but not as prominent. Mandy wrote extensively about her journey with crippling anxiety and depression. She detailed the events that led her to rock bottom, what rock bottom can feel like, and how she climbed her way back.
One thing I appreciate so much is Mandy’s openness when talking about treatment for her depression and anxiety. Although our society has come a long way there is still so much stigma around mental illness and reaching out for help can be very difficult. Mandy attended first a partial hospitalization program (PHP) and then an intensive outpatient program (IOP). For those who are not familiar with this level of care, PHP is normally where individuals attend group therapy Monday – Friday for anywhere from five to eight hours and usually consists of individual meetings with therapists and psychiatrists. IOP is a step down, in my experience three days per week for three to five hours.
I have participated in multiple IOP programs for my mental illness and PHP programs for addiction so I could relate to Mandy’s anxiety when she first started. Walking into a room full of strangers and having to talk about such sensitive subjects is so difficult. Reading about Mandy’s success and the amazing friendships she made while in PHP and IOP really made my heart full. It also kind of made me want to go back. That may sound weird but when I was in IOP a couple years ago I felt like I could actually relate to the people around me and felt comfortable talking about my illnesses. While I love having the support of my family and friends, sometimes I just need someone to talk to who has been through what I have.
One aspect of the book that initially caught me off guard was the sections where Mandy discussed her religious beliefs. Normally the minute I start reading about religion I stop because I have had a lot of bad experiences and I don’t feel like being pressured to believe anything specific. This was not like that for me. While Mandy did talk about her own beliefs and road to spirituality I feel that I actually benefited from reading about it instead of being turned off like I have previously.
Mandy struggled with feeling like she was not good enough for most of her life. She really made me (and I’m assuming most readers) understand that we are enough. We may not be perfect, but who is. Even though I have this madness in my brain and have a history with addiction that does not mean I am not worthy of life and love.